Comments

in the middle of chapter two. If possible would love comments just too see what people think and if they think i should make any changes.

Characters so far (plus special)

Special Characters are made up from my closest friends names, and given parts than reflect their current  en-devours

Eloi (name means Chosen(French/Latin)) - Main protagonist

hitting 20

medium strength, athletic keen senses

hunter-woodsman

Axe, sword, Bow

Akila -(meaning wise (Arabic)) Mother of protagonist

ex-servant/cook. Seamstress

22-42

average height, beautiful when younger/ regal beauty older

ok with axe, little know how of magic

Boyce (name meaning Forest (old French)) - Trainer

Ex-Senior rebel officer

50's

Greying hair, hard features, scarred

experienced with most weapons, good knowledge of magic

Lianda (meaning good character (mandarin)) (Irony)

Dark Sorceress

unknown age

Very beautiful long dark raven hair, whitish skin

Most powerful magic user

Ludas (Another form of judas-traitor) (betrays his mother)

early 20's

covered in cloak for appearance

Good with magic, very knowledgeable with history (of magic too)

Leod (means ugly (Scottish))

30's

huge brute, Face looks as though it’s been smashed a few times, crooked nose

Experienced with magic, carries a huge war axe

                                        

(Special characters)

Raile Spielg              (craig)

high ranking guard

30's

tough, smart good fighter

axe's, spears, bow

Jaize Frems            (james)

40's

bard, inn/bar owner

daggers

Raina-Ellis Lihma           (melissa)

48

Historian

Very knowledgeable, Soft, caring

Doesn’t use weapons

Melizana J. Elbeth,            (jane)

20's

huntress/royal lady

bow, dagger (pet falcon)

Wimroo Artiney   (william)

60's

alchemist

staff, staves, potions

Saivon Mees     (evie)

18-19

apprentice mage

fun bubbly

stave/hand flourishes

CHAPTER ONE my first chapter :D

Chapter 1

Creeping along the forest floor, the hunter had his ears cocked. It was just after dawn, the crisp leafs crunched underfoot, sunlight peered through the branches and a gentle wind blew through. His bow, held tight in his hands and his arrow knocked. Any game was target and not many animals, when seen, managed to evade his arrow’s head. As he was pacing he saw what he wanted, a rabbit. Not much, but it would do as breakfast for his mother and himself. Pulling back the shaft, he aimed, and let go. Before the arrow even hit his target, he knew it had struck. Walking over to claim his prize, the arrow was removed and placed back in his quiver, his bow already back on his back.

Standing up, the sunlight showed him to be a young man. Stubble lined his face, his eyes a calm blue, which contradicted the serious look in them. Chestnut hair fell to just above his eyes, covering the tips of his ears. He has muscles honed by years of hunting, not bulky but athletic. His clothes were nothing more than a simple green cloak, to help camouflage with the foliage. Leather boots adorned his feet and simple woollen trousers kept his legs warm.

Wrapping the rabbit up, he headed back the way he came, listening to the birds tweeting and other sounds of life throughout the forest. As he got closer to his home a trickle of water could be heard. A single stream running parallel to his path, filled with clean water and some small fish swimming around. Reaching his destination, the hunter stopped to admire the quaint little hut he lived in. It was nothing fancy, just big enough to hold a room or two, openings stood where windows would be placed but there lay only thick red curtains to keep out the elements.

Sitting down he began unwrapping the rabbit, and then proceeded to cut away the fur. Rustling from within let him know his mother had woken, ‘’Eloi is that you?’’ she calmly asked. She walked out the cabin looking at her son and sat next to him and took the rabbit from him.

She was not an old women but she had weariness on her face that went beyond age, it showed a troubled past but Eloi could not understand what it was that troubled her, she never spoke of her past and since he was born he was always raised in the forest. Her eyes were an emerald green, and she had a beautiful face, a face that you could tell when she was younger would have made princes journey day and night just to catch a glimpse. She was only of average height, not tall and not small.  The only company they had was each other and the occasional visit from his friend and teacher Boyce. A man who had been there throughout his childhood, he knew that Boyce was not his father but he was as good as. He taught him how to hunt, how to set traps and even helped him to read with books he brought back from places he had visited. He was on another one of those journeys now.

‘Eloi I told you to wait until I was awake before you went hunting, you know how I hate not knowing your whereabouts.’’ She said as she took the blade from him and began stripping the rest of the rabbit though much neater.

Eloi looked up to his mum, ‘’ Well you haven’t been looking too well lately, plus even if I told you where I was going I might end up somewhere else mum, you know how lose track of where I am going and what time it is.’’ He then proceeded to laugh and gather some nearby twigs and branches.

As he got the fire ground set up, his mother had finished off the rabbit and skewed it with a sharp wooden pole. Placing it on two other poles sticking out the ground over the branches Eloi had placed down, she lit the makeshift fire.

‘’Mum, tell me about dad again, and tell me everything, I want to know… no… I need to know.’’ He begged.

Her eyes watered a little, but just for a second as she wiped her eyes and returned a smile to her face. ‘’Your dad was an amazing man, very handsome, just like you,’’ she smiled ‘’ He wasn’t the strongest but he knew how to handle a sword and let’s just say he was much nicer than the rest of his family,’’ She laughed at this as if she had told a funny joke. She stared off into the sky for a few minutes just thinking. She continued, ‘’ Your dad liked to read, he had a good grasp on history as well as other subjects… but history was his favourite, he knew so much and used to tell me about different things he had read, you could hear the excitement in his voice when he discovered some new tale. We met when I was eh… making him dinner. He looked quite lonely, and so when I brought him his food I believe he was just glad to speak to anyone. Every night it would be the same, and we would get closer and closer until you were conceived.’’ A couple of tears had welled in her eyes again but this time she made no movement to wipe them, ‘’ Some time later your dad got into some trouble, and I ended up getting involved. Your father sacrificed himself to save me and so many more people than that. He is a hero and I’ll never forget him as will many people who know what he accomplished. That’s all I’m telling you for today, you have a busy day.’’

‘’But mum there must be more, like what trouble did he get into, who did he save, why did he have to give up his life, ‘’ Questioned Eloi.

‘’I’ll tell you more when you get back, I’m assuming you’re all ready for your trip to the city later then?’’ asked his mum, as she turned the rabbit

‘’Yeah I guess so. Boyce said he would meet me in some tavern in a few days, The Dragon’s Eye I’m sure it was called, but he did say it might be a day or two before he gets back there. Are you sure you will be okay mum?’’ He replied, looking at her with a very serious face, ‘’ I don’t have to go, we can just go to the village market like we usually do.’’

His mum looked back at him just as sternly, ‘’ I’m not some defenceless fool, I can look after myself. I brought you up didn’t I? Also this trip is for your birthday. It is a gift from me to you, you’re almost twenty years old, no longer my child but my young man.  Boyce will show you around and he said he might even be able to let you get a sneak peak at the knights who train there.’’

Eloi laughed, ‘’ And you say I’m not a little boy. Mum I wanted to be a knight when I was younger. I’m content now to help you and hunt for our food and sell your clothes made from pelts at the village.’’ He looked at her, ‘’ Mum I’m grateful but honestly I am fine just helping you.’’

She playfully slapped him on the head, ‘’ Listen boy it isn’t so you can become one, Boyce has entered you in the city’s tournament. You’ll get to participate in the swordsmanship and archery categories. He is showing you the knights so you can see what the competition looks like. And who knows if you win, you can buy me some nice jewellery.’’

‘’ Fine I’ll go, but before I do I’ll finish breakfast, go catch some more food and cut some wood for the next few days okay.’’ He stated.

Eloi finished up his breakfast, got his axe and placed it through his belt then walked back through the trees. A few hours of hunting and he had caught a couple more rabbits, and had placed them in his satchel. He found a quiet spot near the source of the stream and sat down to start skinning his mum’s future dinner. The source of the stream was a crack in the ground in a small basin that bubbled water out. It was not deep it went up to bout his waist, He decided he may as well bathe before he set home, get some of the blood of his hands. Stripping down to his briefs Eloi waded into the deepest part of the small basin and just lay down letting himself float. As the water was not very fast he could stop himself being pulled along just by waving his arms a little. After a few minutes he started to feel a little odd. Something was not right; it was as if someone was watching him. Standing up he looked around the trees looking for any movement. Years of archery and hunting had trained his eyes to be very keen, but he could not make anything out. The bubbling water deafened his ears, so he could not hear any subtle movements.

The hairs on the back of his neck were standing on end, and he kept shivering. Turning he ran to his clothes, grabbing his axe holding it as tight as he could, His hands were very sweaty and clammy and holding it was harder than it usually was. Eloi had never felt like this before, heart beating so fast that it threatened to burst out his chest, his body was trembling his eyes darting in every direction. He was terrified. Bears did not scare him nor snakes or even giant spiders that occasionally roamed the woods, but some unseen assailant, just the feeling of what is out there had him in such a state.

Whilst looking out, a thought struck him, his mother. Dressing quickly he raced back through the tree’s forgoing his satchel for speed.

-

As he left the clearing three shadowy figures stepped out from behind the trees. The figure at the front of the trio was obviously in charge dressed in huge black armour, a black aura surrounded him almost acting like a shroud. A helmet covered his head and all that could be seen coming from the inside was two small red slits. The other two were identical to each other covered in black leather armour and a leather face mask to hide their identities, they both stood behind the man in armour at either shoulder. The man in armour walked over to the fallen satchel, not a sound was made from the leaves, there was not even an impression left in the ground. Picking it up he poured out the contents, ‘’ Hmm nothing of importance, get his scent. I can sense a special barrier, one that disrupts your sense of direction and keeps you away from it, unless you have passed it or entered with another before,’’ he said as he threw it to his followers.

Catching it between them they both brought their heads down taking in the scent from the satchel they both looked in the direction Eloi had run.

‘’We will leave it till the morrow,’’ Continued the armoured man, ‘’ until I can discern wither there are more traps or barriers. For now rest, feel free to eat those animals that were so nicely given to us.’’

As he sat down to concentrate the two shadowy followers picked up the rabbits caught by Eloi and ripped right into the flesh of the rabbit whilst draining the blood, the quiet forest scene being disrupted by the sickly sound of bone crunching.

-

Running through the entrance to the hut, Eloi was panting, exhausted from running all the way from the little clearing. His mum looked at him in shock, surprised by the sudden intrusion, ‘’what’s wrong? What’s happened? Here take a seat catch your breath,’’ She offered as she tried to lead him to the chair.

‘’No… Are you okay? ‘’ He puffed, ‘’I felt something…in the forest…something dark, terrifying.’’ He thought he caught his mum’s features change to one of fear but back to worry, catching his breath Eloi continued, ‘’ I didn’t see anything or hear anything, I was just relaxing by the pool further up the river when suddenly this feeling of dread overcame me and so I ran back to make sure you were safe.’’

‘’Well I’m fine you don’t have to worry. Son you were probably just daydreaming or even falling asleep, ‘’ She laughed, but you could hear a hint of nervousness in her voice, ‘’Anyway I have lunch all prepared and your bag packed,’’ She went into a little cupboard under the window and brought out a plate of cheeses and hard bread, ‘’ after you finish up you’d best head, you will want to get to the village before there’s no light, old Jaize has a room booked for you.’’

‘’You cannot be serious, no way am I going after that, you will need me here to defend you, ‘’ Eloi said

‘’Defend me from what? A bad dream,’’ His mum countered, ‘’anyway it cost me a good amount of gold, you are going and that is final. Listen son I will be fine, we have your traps laid around the place and I have a few things placed too. You cannot cancel just because you felt weird, who knows perhaps the rabbit we ate had eaten something bad.’’ She then preceded to hand him his backpack as he put down his plate.

‘’Perhaps you are right I guess it was weird and I didn’t see anything after all. Fine I’ll go but I’m going to ask Ezra to come back and check up on you tomorrow, deal?’’

‘’Okay, deal! Now I’ll walk you further downstream to the end of the forest line.’’ His mum said. Tidying up some bits and bobs and packing some more things into the backpack , it was another hour before they left.

Picking up a small curved knife, she lopped it into her belt and they left, going the opposite direction Eloi had left earlier that day. The remained quiet as they caught up to the stream, His mum deep in thought as she walked, Eloi on the other hand had not seemed to notice, his body tense as he kept watch for anything suspicious. Nothing was out of the ordinary, the birds tweeted, some deer crossed their paths to drink at the river, he even seen a bear in the distance but, felt nothing like he did that morning. Maybe it was just his imagination, he thought. As they got closer and closer to the edge of the forest, the trees started to get less and less until eventually they broke onto the grassy plain.

Eloi embraced his mum, ‘’I won’t be away for long, I should be back within the month. Please look after yourself.’’

Letting go off him, ‘’ I know you won’t son, now take care of yourself, and remember I want some nice jewellery. Goodbye son, remember I will always love you!’’

Eloi set off occasionally turning back to see his mum, still waving at him until eventually she had faded from sight. Looking at the sky he was sure he would get to Heldom village just after nightfall.

-

Walking back to through the forest, Eloi’s mum could sworn she heard her name through the trees, carried on an ominous wind, ‘’Akila.’’

She picked up some speed, heading back home as soon as she possibly could. She was glad she had got Eloi to leave, he at least would be safe. She knew something was very wrong the way he had ran into the hut, it could only mean one thing! He had found her at last. Twenty years she had been hiding, raising her son and she had been found. The barriers Boyce put up must still be in place or she would be dead by now, but she was sure they would find their way in somehow, as long as she could get home and her hands on that scroll she had found in Ludas room that night, Boyce said it contained a powerful offensive spell good for one use. Hopefully it would be enough! Reaching the clearing where the hut stood, she checked around the place. Nothing was out of place; she removed a wooden plank situated under the window. There in the hole was a long silver box; the box itself was quite plain in design, just an inscription on the lid, her name. This was meant to be a gift to her from Ludas and in the end she did get it and hopefully he would once more save her life. Pulling back the catch she opened it, there in a soft blanket of red velvet was a piece of yellowed paper all rolled up, unravelling it she could see clearly the runes, inscribed upon it.

Ludas had taught her how to use such spells, all it took was for the user to have their hand on the centre of it and state the key word quite clearly, the key word for this particular spell was her name, as it was the key word for the various scrolls he showed her. Unfortunately she had no idea what the spell did; some of the ruins were older than what Boyce’s knowledge covered. All he knew was that it was for attacking and it involved fire and some sort of ring.

Locking the door she readied herself, preparing for what was to come.

-

Eloi could not get that feeling out his head, it may have just been a daydream or perhaps he really had started to drift off, he had been going to bed later and getting up earlier. Looking around the plains did not really have much scenery just grassy fields with an occasional tree. Looking to the sky he could see the sun, clouds rolling on by bringing some occasional shade. Spying a little outcrop of rocks, and boulders, he decided to take a break, he had been walking for a few hours now and knowing his mum there would be some cheese and bread in his pack. Sitting down he looked through his pack and found exactly what he wanted, ripping of some cheese and bread he re-packed it and started to eat. As he started chewing he quickly sprung forward, diving into a roll and turning back around his axe in his hand. Where his head was moments before was now the tip of a sword, only his keen hearing and fast reflexes had kept him alive. There were three of them, all dressed in what could only be described as rags, they wore patched trousers and tunics, some had holes and were stained with food, some old others new.

One leaped at him with his rusty sword ripping through his cloak as he swiftly dodged; using the back of his axe he smashed it into the side of the man’s temple, taking him off his feet, leaving him unconscious, his breathing stopping. The other two had separated, trying to catch him in the middle. Eloi knew that if they managed to do this, fighting and survival would become much harder, even if they were sloppy fighters. Picking up the unconscious man’s sword, he threw his axe at the bandit standing in front. As the man jumped out the way, Eloi was there in a flash and thrust the sword through his stomach quickly incapacitating him. Jumping forward and turning around he kept some distance between him and his final opponent. The last enemy had sweat dripping down his face, ‘’ you killed them, so I kill you and take all your stuff,’’ His voice was gruff and his features betrayed the words he spoke. The man was obviously not expecting such a trained opponent. The man ran forward screaming his lungs out sword raised high. A very fatal mistake Eloi thought to himself, this left the bandit wide open. Ducking down, he propelled himself forward cutting the man’s legs, the bandit fell forward dropping his weapon, his velocity throwing it out of his reach. Eloi walked towards him, kicked him over and held the rusty blade to his throat.

‘’Give me one reason why I should spare you, why I should forgive you for attacking me when I had no weapon in hand.’’ Eloi said anger in his voice

The bandit started to cry and beg, ‘’please sir, I have a family, I am not like those other two, they talked me into they said no one would be hurt that we would knock you out and take what you had. Honest sir I only want to feed my kids.’’

Eloi looked down on the man, ‘’I am keeping this sword, it isn’t great but all I have is a small axe good for chopping saplings. I will let you live, bury your friends and go find some honest work.’’ Eloi sheathed the sword in his belt and turned to look for his axe, and backpack.

‘’You stupid idiot I have no kids, never turn your back to an enemy,’’ He had stood up holding a rock, leaping forward he meant to bash Eloi on the head, Eloi with his honed skills withdrew the sword, turned and slashed off the man’s hand finishing by thrusting the blade through the bandits neck, A sickly squelch and some gurgling replaced the man’s death scream. Pulling the sword out he wiped it on the man’s tunic, replaced it by his side. He found his axe and backpack and carried on up the path, not looking back for a second. That had been the first people he had ever killed but he felt no regret, in a world like this it was all about survival, they tried to kill him and they failed. The sun had started to set as he carried on, eventually reaching his destination. A wooden fence surrounded the village, arriving just after the final rays of the sun, all he wanted was a bed to sleep in and Jaize’s inn had some of the best.

Chapter1........soon :p

Well I hope the prologue gave you an appetite as I' m hoping to post Chapter One in the next few days. I welcome any and all comments but I do ask that if it is going to be negative please tell me why and any suggestions to improve.

Prologue

Prologue

The Land of Cietra was a land steeped in history, a land rich in resources and a land of peace, yet it was not always this way. Years ago there existed a powerful sorceress with power so unfathomable no one could dare predict her demise. She held the land in an iron grip of fear; no one truly had freedom except her and her sons, one as rotten as her, the other a complete mystery, always in his room always delved in shadows, so it came as a shock when he was the one to take her on, that day so long ago.

The sky was blackened no sun or moon ever shined through, stars were something of myths, the land covered in shrubs as the ground would not hold anything other than the most pathetic of weeds, some said the plants were too scared to grow. Thunder boomed through the hills surrounding the castle and lightning flashed. The night itself seemed to shake and tremble at the battle that was happening on Sorceress Lianda’s tower.

The doors burst open splintering into a thousand flaming bits, a body wrapped in black hurdled through the entrance landing on the cold wet stone. The youth turned and faced the wretch that was his mother glide through what was left of the smouldering door. She was not overly tall but her presence seemed to give the impression that she was looming over him.

‘’You think you can take me on,’’ She screeched as she raised her hands, her fingers sparking with electricity, ‘’I created you, I rule this land. I am more powerful than you could ever imagine.’’

Power then leaped from her hands and struck the boy sending him into spasms as shrieks of pain burst from his lips. Regaining some form of composure the boy struggled to stand up but it is not a look of terror or horror on his face. On the contrary his face showed what his body struggled to do, confidence. Gathering his hands together he started concentrating as a ball started to glow. Standing straight, the lightning flashed his shadow towering over his mother. He fired the ball of flames, and as it leaped from his hands shadows were fired in every direction, dancing on the walls and floor of the towers battlement. Lianda raised her hand and a blue barrier appeared absorbing the impact of her son’s magic. The young lad fired more and more but all met the same fate, simply hitting that shield and dissolving.

Lianda laughed, ‘’what do you hope to gain from this feeble attempt hmm? You my son are weak, you are pathetic you spent all of your time reading useless tomes hidden away in your room. Now your brother he, is a wizard, he is the one who shall rule after me.’’ She stops to smooth down her clothes her voice becoming much calmer, ‘’if you stop now, admit you were wrong to try and turn against me, your punishment shall be small, take up your responsibility hunt the rebels who still now defy me, come now Ludas. ’’ Lowering her shield she extended her hand waiting for her son to take it.

Ludas walked slowly towards her and took her hand, this caused a smile to spread across Lianda’s face, ‘’was that so ha…’’ She never managed to finish as she screamed, her smile twisted into a grimace of pain. Letting go, her hand was blackened; a sick odour of burned flesh hit the air. She walked back anger written in her expression. She looked at her hand for a few more seconds as the blackened flesh started to peel off. New muscle and flesh started to knit together all over her hands until her pale flesh looked as good as new.

Ludas quickly jumped back nearing the edge of the tower preparing another strike, gathering the energy in his hands, when a high pitched scream cut through the air. Looking to the opening in the tower his older brother Leod stood holding a figure in his arms. On closer inspection he could make out the silhouette as a female. His brother was an ugly brute of a man, standing at seven foot his bulk and mass made him look like a small mountain. He wore armour made of the finest crafted steel. He held the women by her hair as she screamed and screamed.

‘’What’s wrong brother don’t you recognise her’’ he sneered, ‘’Here let me help you.’’ He dropped the girl on the floor and grabbed her chin. Creating a flame he illuminated her face and the gasp he let out was one of genuine shock. Ludas ran towards her before he was hit by a wall of air that took the air from his lungs. Crouching in pain he watched as his mother walked towards the girl.

‘’Hmm, do I smell something’’ she sniffed, ‘’I smell new life. Oh Ludas you didn't? A servant girl? How shameful.’’ Lianda kneeled next to the girl, placing her hand on her stomach, gasping a little she stood straight back up. She reached into her robe and pulled something out, a reflection from the overhead lightning showed it to be a small knife or dagger. Lianda turned to Ludas, ‘’so this is why you turned on me? For this wench of a girl and her child, ‘’she sneered ‘’ Well I know one thing she will be useful for, her blood will make an excellent ingredient for my spells. At this Leod Laughed, a deep bellowing laugh like something a bear might sound like.

‘’Oh brother how you have fallen, though I must say it was never much of a height to begin with.’’ He said as he took his axe attached to his back. Raising it high, the clouds above seemed to rotate above him. The boom of the thunder got closer. The forks of lightning came faster and faster until a blinding flash, as it struck his axe. He had used his power to pull the lightning from the sky transferring its energy to his axe. Leod walked towards Ludas, as he got closer his body was shaking, shaking with excitement, ‘’ I have waited so long to kill you dear brother so long. I am actually trembling with excitement, but first I think I will let you live long enough just to see your little lady over there die,’’ again laughter burst from his mouth.

His mother at this point was dragging the girl over so that Ludas could see the tears in her eyes, pain clearly etched on her face.

‘’Any last words for her my dear boy?’’ His mother questioned

Ludas looked into the eyes of his mother and brother, and then there in the eyes of the girl lay before him. ‘’Just three, I am sorry!’’ He said as he jumped up and grabbed his own blade, he stabbed himself through the stomach whilst chanting. Ludas grabbed both of his family members and with the last of his strength pulled them off the edge of the tower, his life powering the curse he was placing on himself, a curse designed to seal the magic in his family’s blood. His mother screamed as she fell knowing this was powerful magic, and that it was her own power that gave her immortality, she screamed as she felt her power draining watching the ground below her traveling fast to reach them. Leod, using the last of his quickly draining power, ripped his spirit from his body and howled as he watched all three bodies fall, breaking on the cold stone ground. His spiritual form was blown away having no body to return too.

A lone figure looked over the edge where they had all fallen, one person to see everything that happened that night. She left the castle and over the next few weeks found a few rebels who relayed her information on. Over the next couple of years the rebels had managed to achieve victory over Lianda’s forces, having no immortal sorceress had ebbed away at their confidence. Years passed and peace came to the land. The leader of the rebels had appointed himself king, no one arguing with a man who had led them to victory. The women who escaped the tower that night had disappeared without a trace, no one knowing what became of her and her child.

The beginning

I've always loved fantasy growing up, why? because these books usually contain a bit of every other genre and they can be very enthralling. As a hobby I like to writ ( im not that good) and thought I'd just blog it.